Monday, March 9, 2020

so wrong, in every way

Bloomberg spent $500 million on his campaign. Multiple people on TV actually said or agreed with the statement that he could have instead given $1 million to every American. This is so unfathomably wrong, it's hard to describe. It's true that you don't need a calculator to figure out that it's wrong, but that's being generous - you barely need any common sense to know this is wrong. Here are some things that are as wrong (yes, I calculated):
  1. "I'm Native American, because my mom is Native American. Well not my mom, but my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother."
  2. "We live in Manhattan, so I told my son he has to stay on this block if he rides his tricycle. I found him in Argentina. After he had already triked around the entire planet 7 times."
  3. "This recipe called for 1 tsp of salt, but I accidentally put all of the salt for sale in all of the Wal-marts in Texas in instead."
  4. "I thought this was a dinosaur bone, but actually it's my grandpa's baby tooth."
  5. "I'm prepping for a 10-year quarantine in case coronavirus gets really bad. I've got all my food supplies ready: one almond should do the trick."
  6. "I told you to meet me on the stairs of the Met museum, and you thought Perth was close enough?"
  7. "The richest man in the world could give everyone on the planet $18. An average guy in Somalia could quit working for 24,000 years with that $18."
  8. "Bloomberg spent $500 million on his campaign. That's the entire GDP of the USA for 20 years." 

Now imagine... If a professional journalist can be this wrong, how accurate do you think your political facebook memes are?